Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Life is a cruel mistress?

Welcome back, I guess 

Some days I think life is just a sick joke. We live and we die. Isn't that how it goes? It gets harder and harder to find joy in our days of waiting for death, 'cause that's' where we're all headed anyway.. We speak of tomorrow as a better place, a better time and often speak of yesterday as having been far better than today was. Why can't we be happy in the now? Why do always reach for a happiness somewhere in the distant future or distant past? Especially when we did not feel the happiness in that moment in the past! Why do we torture ourselves so?

Happiness is a goal, or is it? We are constantly grasping for something to make us happy; if only I had a better job, more money, a boyfriend, a husband... then I would be happy. Do we even know what happiness is if we think it consists of things instead of a feeling? Would we know happiness if we had it? What happened to life consisting of precious moments?

Sorrow is simply a part of life. That much I know. But sometimes it seems there is nothing else to life but sorrow. There are people I have lost who I grieve for every single day of my life. Not a day goes by without tears in my eyes, but they are tears I cannot share with others for most would not understand. It is almost as though I would be afraid that when the sorrow ends, I'll forget about them.. Though logically, I know that could never happen; I could never forget about them. Same for distress, it simply lingers with me day in and day out; I don't know if I wish to get rid off it or not!

Sorry about that and hope you are having a better week than I am.


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